{ when time comes to a standstill.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

{ freed on 10:48 PM

after attending a friend's 21st birthday party, i realised that life is short. maybe i realised it too late but somehow or rather, it struck me at my friend's birthday party. what a weird person i am. time passes so fast. it's so quick that you hardly realised that it has gone by. in like another 4 more years time, i too will be 21 years old. AHHH!! i never thought it would be that fast. as a kid, i've always wanted to grow up faster and be an adult. but right now, i've having second thoughts about being an adult. hearing my mum complaining about the work load that she has, i feel a sense of fear and uncertainty.

what will i be working as in the future? will i be able to earn enough to support myself?

oh well, i think right now at this present moment all i wanna do is to enjoy myself. =) and i desperately need to go SHOPPING.

- jjoycee.

Monday, September 25, 2006

{ freed on 9:59 PM

my left arm is not supposed to hurt at the crucial moment. DAMN. yet, the pain came back. shit. stupid, i should have never become the person in the middle. WADDAHELL. my dearest left hand, please don't hurt anymore.

- jjoycee.

{ freed on 10:22 AM

i feel the immense pressure for me to perform well in my exam. i WANT TO, but i'm lacking in the confidence. i just feel as though i've had not enough of practices. why did i ever agree to take my exams so early? DAMN.

i'm beginning to retract back into my own world. i'm happy about it though. no worries, no other thoughts that maybe i should try to fit in, no sadness. i'm just contented right now, really. and i've come to realise a fact.

maybe if you've never belonged there, you shouldn't try to fit in.
cos it's gonna make you feel even worse.

- jjoycee.
p.s back to piano practising.

Friday, September 22, 2006

{ freed on 11:31 PM

i think today will be the most blur day i ever had.

i don't really think i need to go into the details. it's too embarrasing for me to even say it out. mum and brother were laughing at me when i told them. can you imagine how embarrassing it is? AHHH!!

went down to katong for my piano practice. i feel so much better now. at least im making improvements now. sigh, it's exactly 1 week to exams and i'm feeling the jitters already. oh man, i think i'm gonna be so dead. =(

sometimes i wonder why i even bother trying to belong there. i don't, that's the point. i'm giving up, not gonna try anymore. leave me alone. i think i'll be better off in my own world.

- jjoycee.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

{ freed on 10:21 PM

reached home early today cos i had piano in the late afternoon. was dead tired by the time i got home that i had to drag my aching feet home. LOL.

sometimes i wonder how much 24 hours means to me. i never had the time to sit down and think through this question. rather, it was yilin who made me realised this. wasting a whole day's time just sitting in front of the computer and watching vcd used to be enjoyable. but, now as i reflect on what yilin said, isn't it such a waste that you spent your time doing this. right now, i really should be practising my piano pieces cos exams are like in one week time. however, i can't find the strength and passion for practising.

i feel lonely out of a sudden. it doesn't mean that when you have loads of friends you wouldn't feel lonely. on the contrary, i do feel lonely at times. maybe cos MOOD SWING is back. i wanna go back to my own little world. the world where i can find solitude and feel calm at the same time.

mood swing is back.
where's the solitude that i seek?

- jjoycee.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

{ freed on 11:04 PM

mood swing is back.
i can feel it coming back.

DAMN IT.
WADDAHELL.

- jjoycee.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

{ freed on 10:14 PM

one day of rest has gone by. sigh. i dread having to go back to work again. sigh. =( just realised that i got to be at the hotel by 6.30 a.m tmr. oh man, it just dampens my mood. june called me and told me that i was supposed to report for duty today. i was like, " huh! i'm off duty today! " they must have mixed up again. lol.

shit, i got to go sleep now. night people. =)

- jjoycee.

Friday, September 15, 2006

{ freed on 9:52 PM

i'm totally drained out. having to wake up at 5 everyday ain't an easy task to do especially when i'm missing my 10 hours sleep. on a lighter note, i'm not on duty tmr which means i get to SLEEP IN. FINALLY! i miss my 10 hours of sleep.

one more thing, i finally broke my straight zero delegates record. =)

went for the interview at jetquay terminal. damn. it's so far. LOL. we got in! =) and i think i'm in love with the uniform! it's so much nicer than s2006 uniform. oh my gosh! after the interview, we went to T2 BK to eat. lol. we've finally seen the real side of benny! lol. anyway, we sat there and chatted for some time. took train home. =)

alright, i know it's still early but i really need my sleep now.

- jjoycee.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

{ freed on 9:04 PM

THANK GOD i need not take any supp paper. was with the group of people when suddenly jun kiat said, " results out already. " i think i totally freaked out. was so not ready for this day to arrive. checked my phone and saw the message. the first thing that went through my mind was, " i passed my JAVA and CMSY! " i think i was really jumping for joy. i struggled the most with these two subjects after all and yes, my hardwork for CMSY was finally paid off!

THANK GOD.
THANK GOD.
THANK GOD.

won't be able to make it for class chalet though. i'm gonna be on duty during those few days. sigh. =( kinda miss hanging around with my classmates. haven't seen them for such a long time already.

talking about work, have been down for duty for the past two days which explains why i was missing in action. was too tired to actually pen down my thoughts on being a bus host for the S2006. i have to wake up at 5 every single day for the past two days. AHH!! it was so freaking tiring!

my legs are aching like nobody's business now.

- jjoycee.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

{ freed on 12:13 AM

changed my blog skin again cos i was feeling bored at home. i want to look for a job instead of wasting my time away but i can't. S2006 is in the way. oops! =x oh well, sigh. ~~job searching~~ will have to wait till i'm free now.

the trip down to town was.. fruitful i guess? i finally bought a pair of covered shoes, just the right height for S2006. dad and mum were the ones who suggested that i buy new shoes instead of having to walk in my other pair of shoe. yepp and so after long hours of walking around, i finally found the ideal pair. =) my legs were aching when i got home. ouch. LOL.

FINALLY RECEIVED my schedule for S2006. i'm gonna be down for like every other day except for two days. oh well! won't get to meet my brother in any case. SIGH. =( in any case, i don't think my brother will want me to see him when he's on duty. he says i'm gonna be an irritant. SO MEAN. hahaas.

sometimes i wonder, why does life have so much ups and downs? i know it's to allow us as humans to gain experience if you could say. but why does life put humans through so much pain and suffering? hmmm, it's really nothing much. was just reflecting on my comm skill question out of a sudden regarding our opinion on euthanasia. lol.

alright, i'm off to my comfy bed and lovely dream that awaits me.
=)

- jjoycee

Thursday, September 07, 2006

{ freed on 11:42 PM

loads of random thoughts are flooding my mind right now. well to be honest, i'm nervous. just saw my friend's nick and realised that the release of the main examination results are out on the 14th of sept. sigh. i'm definitely hoping to do well but however, my capabilities are limited. sigh. i really doubt i'll do well. all i really hope for now is that i won't have to take the supplementry paper. i think i'll just cry if i have to. =/ i know i said leave it to GOD but i can't help but to panic now. arrgh, this feeling sarks. =(

this sarks.
this sarks.
this sarks.

received my schedule for s2006 for the first 2 days. i'm on morning shift. sigh. SO EARLY! very far!!! LOL. i better stop whining or else JUNE TAN is gonna say, "WHERE GOT FAR! SIMEI TO KALLANG! SLAP YOU ARHS! " LOL. oops! =x.

piano exam is coming in exactly less than one months time and i dread it now. i don't even think i'll be able to practise my exam pieces during s2006. sigh. i regretted not taking my exam later. arrgh. i think i'm gonna screw up my whole exam. and yes, exam pieces are still not perfect yet.
i can't even make myself sit in front of my lovely piano to practise the pieces. please kill me now will ya?

on a lighter note, i'm going out with wanling and annabelle tmr. finally! i haven't been shopping for like.. so long and i'm definitely looking forward to it now. =)

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me and just forget the world

- jjoycee.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

{ freed on 11:42 PM

was hesitating to blog but oh well, finally decided to. last two days were pretty much spent at chalet except that i didn't stay over. sigh. parents are always a trouble when it come to chalet. sometimes i really hate times like that. =(

ytd night was BBQ night. my favourite! pretty much the same i guess, except for that crazy chalet that was making quite a bit of noise and attracting attention. they were underage girls and looking at how they dressed, i reckon that bra straps and speg tops were their favourites apparently. anyway, this two girls made themselves "famous" with their shouting. i was like WADDAHELL. damn. what a nuisance. " I'M NOT DRUNK! STOP PULLING ME! " like wadever alright. serve you girls right. drink that bottle of voldka like drinking water. and apparently, one of the girls(the two who were drunk) was screaming and shouting cos she lost her phone. i saw her threw up and BOOM! that was the end of her. i saw her leaning on her guy's ( i think so) shoulder. i think that's really crazy. they were so freaking irritating, was really getting on my nerves.

returned the bike for those who went for night cycling cos they complained that their butts and legs were aching. lol. i seriously miss cycling. lol. miss those times when i was cycling with some guy from my estate. lol. anyway, as we were cycling through pasir ris park, the memories that i once wanted to keep inside me just came back. i didn't know why. sigh. =( sometimes, beaches are a bad place to go cos they rake up the past.

i saw a particular line on the television just now which struck me a lot.
memories are short-lived.
only photos last.
is this true?
i wonder.

- jjoycee.

Monday, September 04, 2006

{ freed on 11:39 AM

I saw this on june blog and thought it's quite fun!

7 RANDOM facts about me:

I LOVE to SLEEP!
loves my darlings, my dears. =)
love star gazing with TRINA LIM!
korean dramas, taiwan dramas & hk dramas are my love.
computer is my life.
in love with fireworks. ( i think they are gorgeous. )
i can get really cranky and laugh like nobody's business.

7 things that scare me:

INSECTS ARE MY NO. 1 LIST.
wait, i think that's about all.
INSECTS.

7 favourite songs:

PCD - Buttons.
The Veronicas - When It All Falls Apart.
Nickelback - Far Away.
Garden Sister - Ni Feng.
Hebe & Fei Lun Hai - Zui Dui Ni You Gan Jue.
HCM - Start of Something New.
Fort Minor feat. Holly Brook - Where'd you go.

7 things i like most:

my computer.
my loved ones.
my friends.
my handphone.
my digital cam.
my tweety.
my brother being a BOTAK. =)

7 ppl to do this?

Wan ting.
Wanling.
Amanda.
Sarah.
Rachel.
Farah.
Fiora.

- jjoycee.

{ freed on 11:06 AM

the first week of hols. =)
my poor wanling&trina, gotta study
for prelims.
ALL THE BEST ALRIGHT!!! =)

alright, recap on sat.
I SAW JONATHAN LEONG!
he's soooo good looking in real person.
LOL.
JUNYANG WAS THE BEST!
=)

finished watching tokyo juliet until
episode 11.
the show is fantastic!
i love wu zun!
he's so HOT!
=)

alright, nuff said.
let the pics do the talking now.

- jjoycee.

Friday, September 01, 2006

{ freed on 2:13 AM

HOORAY to me!
NO MORE ~~EXAMS~~!
i'm so loving it now.
LOL.
i think this time round, the papers
were a lot more tougher and difficult to attempt.
i couldn't even write rubbish when i wanted to.
that was how tough the papers were!
i almost went bonkers over them.
now, i can only crossed my finger and pray that i'll
be able to do reasonable alright to be able to go
on to the next semester.
I say, " Leave it to God." =)

read wan ting's blog.
YES! i see my name there. lol.
hmmm..
wan ting, if you're reading this..
PM me when i'm online and tell me everything.
my ears are always there for you.
=)

a funny feeling has been bugging me for past few
days ever since i saw my ex.
it was pretty funny as i recalled the sec 2 days.
hahaas.
i don't know how to express this here but yes,
oh well. =)

alright, time for my good night rest after so
many days of mugging.
it's time i treat myself better.
LOL.
NIGHT PEOPLE!

ADIOS AMIGOS!
BERAMBOS or FLAMINGO!
WHATEVER!
p.s i miss this line. =)

- jjoycee.